Death and rituals

 I got a call from my cousin at 5.30 am on 17th Feb that his father (my uncle/tauji) is no more.

As per tradition, we bathed Tauji's body and poured Ganga-jal in his mouth. The Pandit advised to put some gold in his mouth as it is believed to help salvation/mukti. Cousin was confused, then another cousin whispered in his ears that we can get a gold-foil (sone ki patti) from jeweler which is sold for this purpose only.

Since Tauji weighed much and the body was kept on second floor flat, someone suggested that  we pick him up with supporting mat and bed sheet and take him downstairs and keep on wooden base on the ground floor as it will be easier to manouvere. Pandit suggested that arthi (the body) is usually taken out from home. So we did the latter. It was difficult to carry down the stairs but it felt dignified and respectful to the deceased, when I analysed in retrospect. 

Since on 4th day of cremation, bones are picked up from the cremation ground, I got to know that deaths before sunrise is counted on the previous day. Since Tauji died at 2 am on 17th Feb., 4th day fell on Sunday, 19th. Now, someone told 4th and 13th day rituals are not done on Sundays and Wednesdays in Punjabis. So a suggestion came to pick bones on 18th, which was a Shivratri. After a lot of confusion, it was decided to choose 19th as the date for 4th day rituals.

Tauji wanted all rituals to be performed as per tradition, so my cousin wanted to do the 13th day rituals on exactly 13th day, which fell on 28th Feb (4th on 19, plus 9 days). Then someone suggested that in Punjabis, we deduct one day either on 4th or 13th day. So it was decided and declared to do the 13th day ritual on 27th. Some relatives wanted on 28th.

Later cousin decided to change the 13th day ritual on 28th Feb.

Another thing I found strange was that the cousin family was arranging for sheets(chadders) and nariyals(coconuts) to be placed on the body. So they bought 10 sheets and 5 nariyals. Ideally each should have made own arrangements. But maybe this was convenient for all.

Learning never stops.