Notes on Parenting 210721

Help your children to develop disappointment muscle even if they become unhappy for some time.

When your child interferes in your work or conversation to seek attention, tell him that you love him but he needs to not interfere. So satisfy his seeking attention mode but be strict in enforcement. Be kind and firm. Connection before correction.

Don't be inconsistent with your expectations. For example allow one action and then disallow the same action another time.

If a child in insisting on something you want to discourage, don't give in even if he cries. After two minutes, give him alternate options. Most of the time, he will pick one of the options and stop crying.

Lead by example. If you want him to read, read. If you want him to avoid mobile, avoid yourself.

Children are not interested in the price of things you bring for them. They are happy that you brought something for them.

Notes on Spirituality 170721

Socrates was nearing his death. His disciples asked him, where would you like to be buried? He replied, you can bury me if you catch me. You can only bury my body, that you can bury anywhere. He was pointing to the concept of immortality.

There are many electric gadgets in the house like bulb running on the power of electricity. If a bulb says I am all powerful on my own, it is wrong. Just like that if I say that I am the doer, that is wrong. I am the all pervading soul, body is the doer.

There is an overload cutout built in our electricity supply. This ensures that connection with main supply is cut off when there is overload in some part. This ensures safety and prevents further damage to the main supply. Similarly when there is an emotional overload in our body like when we are angry, the cutout disconnects our brain to prevent further damage and to avoid leaving these episodes permanent scars on the mind.

There are five elements of nature. Earth, water, fire, air and space. Earth has all the five sense elements, so it is grossest. Shabd/sound, sparsh/touch, roopah/seeing, Rasa/taste and Gandha/smell. There is no smell in pure water, so it has four. There is no taste and smell in fire. Then air has only two, sound and touch. Space has only one, shabda. Space is the subtlest. Senses can work only in presence of sense objects. Both are made up of three Gunas, rajas, Tamas and saatvik.

Notes on Spirituality 110721

There is a difference between Saying I am There is a difference between saying, I am Sanjay gora and my name is Sanjay Gora. In former, you identify self as Sanjay Gora, in latter you identify body with Sanjay Gora and identify soul as different.

Everything in a dark room can be seen by a flashlight. But battery in the flashlight cannot be seen by the same light because battery is the source. Similarly everything in the world can be understood by the intellect but not the concept of soul, which is the source of the intellect.

If someone says he does not want to be happy at all times, sometimes he wants to be sad or unhappy like when watching sad movie or song. The counter is that he wants to be sad because it makes him happy.

Be like a tortoise in using your senses. Tortoise retracts its body parts under hard shell whenever it feels danger. Likewise we should withdraw and stay away from situations where our senses may be endangered. For example, a smoker trying to quit smoking,  should avoid groups where others are smoking. Because he may be tempted to smoke.

Lord Rama killed  Bali by hiding behind a tree. Because Bali represented lust and he had a boon that his opponent will lose half his power when facing him. So he could be killed only by hiding from him and lust.

Notes on Spirituality 020721

Heard this interesting interpretation of a Gita sloka in a podcast today. Out of three yoga's : karma yoga, gyan yoga and bhakti yoga, you can try to follow first two by actions or knowledge, But you can't plan to follow bhakti yoga. Bhakti is love for divine, it will happen when it has to happen. You just cannot inculcate bhakti forcefully.

Another concept shared was Shreyas and Preyas  (श्रेयस और प्रेयस) things. Preyas are things which may feel good but may not be good in reality. For example scratching your body may suppress the itch and feels good but excess scratching may harm the body. Preyas things are reverse. For example, doing exercise may not feel good but it is good for the body in the long term.

Common Sense Lessons

I was parking my car in the morning after reaching office. Not being an expert, I somehow managed. There was a raised iron cover and I parked in such a way that the back tyre was half on the cover and half hanging. Some drivers standing nearby asked me to take it forward or backward. I did, and then they told me if you keep tyre like this, tyre can burst due to pressure. Lesson learnt, though after hearing it, I felt like a fool not knowing it. I remember parking my car like this earlier also but did not think of this.

This reminded me of another small thing I got to know after driving car for more than 10 years. A friend told me that you can push the knob on rear-view mirror to prevent getting blinded by high-beam lights. I felt silly that I did not know this earlier. 

Similarly when two from tyres of my car got burst in a span of few days, I got them replaced with new tyres. The shopkeeper advised to get the new tyres fixed on fron wheels. I said why. He explained the front tyres take engine load so better to have new tyres. Also he suggested that if I am getting two new tyres, better to have both in the front as tyre wear-tear will be same. Common sense after i was told about it. 

Funny how we keep learning things always. By the way when I bought a new car in 2000 or so, I managed to get its back damaged by not applying hand-brake or gear on slope, and noticing my car had slided down and hit a pole. 

How is that for learning by own mistakes.

#car #learning #commonsense #auto #lessons

Grofers and its communication failures

 How a company's communication lapses mar its image can be best exemplified by Grofers. Let me explain with my experience.

They want positive feedback only

The routine Grofers sms asking for feedback says, tell us what you like about us, so that we can improve. Huh!

No call centre, no email

They don't have any call centre/phone helpline and no email for a customer to reach out to them. Only chatbot and chat support. If your query does not fall under any category of their drop down menu, you are screwed, as you can't reach them.

Arrogant Social Media Team

So, when Grofers accepted my two orders, got paid for them and did not deliver, I was shocked. I thought age is catching up with me and I am developing early symptoms of Alzheimer's as I might not have placed the orders and not made payments at the last moment. To reconfirm, I checked Grofers App, there was no sign of these two orders and any payments made by me. So I was less worried about the Grofers orders, and more about my forgetfulness.

A week later I was shocked to see on my Sodexo app that the two debits had actually taken place and Grofers conveniently removed all traces of these orders and payments from their app. If I had not checked my Sodexo transactions record, Grofers would have kept my money happily.

Since there is no option for such weird incident in Grofers drop-down menu and there is no phone/email, I had to tweet to them. The team got back to me in their sweet time and denied that any such transaction had taken place. When I persisted, they asked me to show proof. When I sent them screenshot of Sodexo transactions, they said we have checked and will initiate refund.

No sorry, no apology, no regrets. They acted as if they are doing a favour to me by returning my money. When I pointed this out, they replied, when our systems would have noted, you would have got the money eventually. 

Horrible example of customer service.

#Grofers #delivery #customer #service #fraud #cheat 

Printing Jobs Checklist

As a PR professional, over a period of time we become more of Proof Reader professionals rather than Public Relations professionals. After scanning and checking plethora of print-proofs like annual reports, brochures, newspaper ad creatives, company diaries, calendars, posters, house journals etc., you are bound to become one. The gravity of situation can be understood from the fact that now when I get a printed invitation card from a family or friend, my eyes quickly scan it for printing errors first. Professional hazards, you see. So over past 28 years of work, I can safely proclaim about each possible printing goof-up that I have been there, done that. So here is a check-list to ensure that you can learn from the mistakes of others, including me.

1- If there are last minute changes in photograph and its placement, do check that the captions have been accordingly moved with the photos.

2-If a Hindi or another language translation has been done, please ensure that final changes in the original copy in text and photos have been carried out in the translated version.

3- Check for shifting of dates in a calendar ( going for printing) at different stages of proof correction and final printing. One tab to the right or left can result in the whole lot of prints going waste if dates are screwed up.

4- Please do check the phone numbers being printed in RSVP or at other places. Here too one mistake can cost very heavy.

5- Do take a print out of finally cleared copy just before going to print. It may so happen that the designer forgets to save and sends an older version for printing. If you don't have a proof of the version you gave okay to, your career will depend on the integrity of the designer and the agency.

6- Before taking approval for photographs from seniors, ensure that the photos are high resolution and print-worthy. Because if approval is taken and then photo is of low quality, one will have to seek approval again, which is never an easy thing to do.

7- Before using photos, please ensure that necessary permissions and copyright approvals, where ever required, are in place. If a photo is used and the owner of the brand objects, it becomes very complicated.

8- Triple check names, designations, seniority, placement etc. for diaries, advertisements, invitation cards etc. A slight error or lapse can lead to major consequences.

9- If newspaper ad has to reach far-off areas it is better to give go-ahead to creative much in advance. Newspapers for non-city locations get printed in the afternoons, and if you give creatives for a next day ad in the evening, you will miss out on these late city and town editions.

10- Go for the optimum print run in the first go. Second or third runs are costlier unit-wise. Fixed cost gets added every time, irrespective of the number of copies.

Will add more if I get around to updating this post. 28 years call for 28 mistakes at least. All are not mine, but I was directly or indirectly aware of such goof-ups in real life.